So I thought on the back of one of the most bipolar weekends I’ve ever had I would ramble to myself under my breath.

Someone once said to me that life was about striving for balance. I may be dumbing down the theory a bit but in essence, I quite liked this concept.

I like balance. It lets me hold myself and what little sanity and functionality I have together. But I find that this balance I think I have is incredibly unstable at times. Just one little thing, usually what turns out to be false hope, and the whole thing scatters to the wind like a cow fart in an open paddock.

This whole process just leaves me cross questioning everything making me feel displaced in time-space like someone who was thrown either backwards or forwards in time from a place where people actually gave a shit about what they say and what they do.

For once I would like to meet someone whose actions reflected what they said to me. For once I would just like my expectations, which I believe aren’t set unrealistically high or even high for that matter, to be met.

I suppose another solution is to not have expectations. But I don’t think this is really plausible. We all live by expectations. And I already moderate mine as to be reasonable. I base them on what I expect myself to be able to do for others. But maybe that means I am unreasonable in what I do…

Now I feel like a stupid chump for caring and making an effort.

‘Good guys finish last’ isn’t it?

Anywho, reground and repeat process…